May 2006


Since my recent learning of information regarding my origins, I can’t stop to think what would happen if I met my birth mother. I joined the Adoption Network, registered on the International Adoption Registry Soundex and have been posting like mad on the inter-web. Re reading the document I received on Friday drew more questions about my birthfather who apparently was an asshole, fathering a few more children in the neighborhood and was a problem child. This is a huge mystery to me so I felt the need to make an appointment with the Dept. of Vital Stats in Columbus to search the 1972 archives– by hand. One by one. A-Z. Ugh. I leave on Tuesday with my wonderful wife to look at a microfiche reader for 4 hours. Its just that important to me.

I have been thinking more and more about what is driving me to find this out. Looking at myself from the outside, I appear as desperate to know. Something I would never think of myself ever doing in my life. I never had a desire to search or know, but as I get older this question is hanging over my head on a daily basis.

When I get back, I will report my findings. This blog will become as a journal for this experience. I am sharing it with you.

Some of you may know, I am adopted. I never really wanted to pursue my biological parents because my parents are here in Bay Village. Lately I have just seemed a bit more disconnected than normal, and with recent health concerns with blood pressure, I thought it would be a good time to start looking into non-identifying information.

Two months ago, I wrote a letter to the agency that my mother spoke of many years ago. I sent a check for forty dollars and letter and sat by the mailbox waiting for a response. Friday I finally received the letter. It shocked me actually. It contained much information about my maternal family and some information about my paternal family. My bio-mom was 14 years old when she had me. My bio-dad was 16. This was not consensual as expected. She was Polish and Hungarian, he was German and Finish. She played a few instruments and loved business. He raced cars, was a mechanic, and played the drums. He sounded like he was in a band of some sort. He had a probation officer, and spent sometime in court. A real problem child it seemed like.

One of the hardest parts of the letter was that my bio-mom was taken up to New York by her parents to terminate the baby[me], but she was already past the 5 month. So I lived.

This past weekend was a blast. This was the weekend of my wife’s birthday. Friday evening, my cousin, her boyfriend and my uncle paid a visit from Michigan. We had a wonderful dinner at my parents place. We watched Monique open gifts, had cake and spent quality time catching up. Saturday afternoon while my wife was cashing in her gift from me, a full hour massage at her favorite spa, my cousins, uncle and I stopped by the gallery to view the 409 show at Assemble. Nice work. Really nice work. Sad to see 409 crumble, but such as life.

Saturday evening was a surprise birthday dinner at Sterle’s Slovenian House. We danced Polka, ate wiener schnitzel, and drank Lâsko beer. Dreamy Buddy was very surprised and touched that this was thrown together for her. The end of the evening was me with a cigar and some Slivovitz. Don’t ask. 😉

Sunday was supposed to be a relaxing day, but turned out to be another back breaker. For four weeks now, I have been moving rock, soil and plant life around in my yard. It started out as a great idea, but as with most DanMerk projects, I went over the top. Our original plans were to remove the water garden, deck, and fix the grade on the side of the house. Well it is week four and I have spent early Saturday morning hauling all the building material to the city dump by hand, and then Sunday moving more rock, more pavers, more footers that needed to be smashed out of the ground. I also cut down 4 trees that were growing into my roof. I never used a chain saw, but there was something cool about that tool. Thank goodness my neighbor was observant and noticed that I was working alone. I would have killed myself if he hadn’t shown up to assist. Thanks Ron! I think it will take another 2-3 weeks to complete the yard project. We scaled our ideas way back because of lack of skill and amount of help required to do it ourselves. At least the patio, but I think we still will build a pergola. All in all, the exercise and sun is good for me, but man am I sore on Mondays.

Why is the dog so hungry? Well his Dr and a good friend of ours suggested moving him to a raw food diet to help with some of his digestive issues. He gets the runs and sometimes is really constipated. So to switch to this natural diet, you need to fast your dog for a day. From what I have read, wild dogs will eat from a kill, then not eat for up to a week after so this is not a horrible thing we are doing. Tonight he gets a meal of pumpkin, and digestive enzymes. IF all goes well, then tomorrow morning he will begin eating raw chicken backs and necks. Yum.