Yep, I did it. I had to buy some candy from my co-worker's son Dev. He was selling peanut brittle, chocolate covered rasins, and tins of pop-corn covered in powdered cheese.

Me, the kid that does not really have a sweet tooth, buys the safe purchase, peanut brittle and white chocolate mint truffels.

Well they came in today. I opened the box of brittle. This stuff is great. Not the greatest stuff I have eaten, but during a hectic work day, it is the right thing to nibble on...Half the box later my teeth are like rock covered mountainsides, and I have the greatest pain in my belly.

Moving on to the white chocolate mint truffels. These are great. I hate white chocolate, but the chocolate truffle mint creamy center is so gooey that I am eating the entire package of 15 pieces.

Now I am seeing spots and everything is happening in normal time, but my brain is 3 steps ahead. My mouth feels like a sewer and my teeth are so caked up with sugar and cocoa crap that I can not believe that they exist.

I gotta wash this stuff down. What do I grab? Water?

Nope.

Juice?

Nope.

A 12 oz ice cold can of Coca-Cola. Something that I never drink.

I down the can in like 30 sec, rinsing and gagleing and swashing this brown teeth-rotting beverage down my neck.

OK now I am retarded. I can not even see straight. My eyes are bugging out of my head, and I have such a tremendous head ache that I can not see anything clear except that I will be so hung over from this sugar rush in about 3 hours.

Wow I just twitched.

Crazy...

written on October 31, 2002
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I am sorry for this lame post. I worked out tonight and picked up my transparencies for the "409" shirts I am making. I am exhausted. I will get to the pictures later on this weekend. I don't know what is coming over me, but I have this laziness that has come over me. Wait I am filling my flat with tons of DanMerk.com pics. I found that between K-Mart and Old Fashioned Pottery has tons of frames at great prices. I bought these 2 really ornate silver + bronze frames fo rmy bedroom. They look totaly Rouccou (sp), and Early French. I can not wait to put images from the site.

I think what I need to do is have more variety and lack of insecurity to tak emore pics in public. For some reason I seem to be skiddish on taking pics like I used to. Perhaps it might be the fact that I am spending lots of time at home these days. How movies and pics does the world need of me and my mug? Oh well.

Keep reading. More to come. I promise...

written on October 31, 2002
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This was from a few weeks ago. This is Steve and John. We all were close buds in college and worked in Glyph[x.

written on October 29, 2002
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There are many images from Friday evening. Sorry I have been dragging my feet. I have been extremly busy and just made the jump to OS X, so I am a little shaky. I am working on shirts and other pieces of clothing for DanMerk{dot}com.

Tonight having dinner with Stepmother. At my place. Should be fun. Making some good eats. Pics to come.

written on October 29, 2002
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This weekend was great.

Bought soem of probably the best collection of music of all times. Listed in the "listening" section. Check it.

Friday was at the Symposium and saw the Jackknife Powerbombs. Great show. Took pics. Saw my old buddies and some even were playing that night.

I dressed up. I think. I brought out my alter ego. A vampire. I have always had an obsession of having real fangs, and being able to bit people. Well I like biting people, but in the sense of drawing blood, and making people go under my power to destroy the universe.

Saw a great movie last night at the Cinematheque. Metropolis. Great film. Machines should indeed take over and rule the world. Maybe then I can have some dicipline.

OH YEAH, I totally forgot. I am making "Danmerk{dot}com" clothing. I will sell to just make the overhead, but if anyone is interested in shirts, drop me a line. I will be working on this week, and I will be posting possible solutions, and let you decide. Some great ideas here; look for it.

written on October 28, 2002
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From one off my students:

DEADLINE: NOVEMBER 19, 2002 The Atlanta Photojournalism Seminar Website:
www.photojournalism.org You do not have to attend this seminar to enter. This is a totally digital competition. Entries must be submitted in digital form. They must also have been taken between November 14, 200l and November 5, 2002. There is a fee of $35 for a maximum of 15 entries. Best to check out the website as there is a lot of information re: submitting

Good luck to you. Yeah, like you are gonna win against danmerk{dot}com!!! I'll crush you. This kid is alright!

written on October 25, 2002
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OK, so I never went to the show. That is ok. I am going to the Jacknife Powerbombs show on Friday. Tomorrow, at the Beechland. Going to see my new friend Matt. He is the lead singer. He is a lawyer. He wears a tie. Love it. Puck rock has smart people. Love it!

Tonight I am working on this new ThoughtWorks brochure. It is 8.5x11, full color. I shot al the photography, and doing all the layout. This is some of my better work here. I now feel like a designer again. WHOOT!

So every year I seem to pull out the ole fangs, and look like a real vampire. Well I guess I am doing it again. I seem to go to what is comfortable. This is ok, but for once I would like to be something different. Not sure. I was thinking Frankenstein, or even a Mummy. But I have to be able to take pics at tomorrow's show. Besides, every year I am this thing, I try to look more subtle, not caked on makeup, rather slight hues of ivory and pale lips. I will have great pics on the site. I promise. Going to be great.

Did anyone go to Liars?

written on October 24, 2002
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I just got wind of my holiday schedule--TOTALLY ALONE! I mean do not get me wrong, I like my solitude, but my father and step mom are going out of town for a week, and my mother is going to some retreat for her church. My sister still may be an option, but I would go to Chicago. No problem there, but I have never NOT had a place to be pulled between this holiday. First time ever. This single thing is weird. I mean I like it. Going to be fun spending my time with my cat, and not having to buy a single fucking present for anybody but MOI!

On the other hand. I feel lonely. I spend almost every night alone during the week, and on weekends my pals are there. But they all have serious girlfriends and what not. Even my best buddy got back together with his EX. I am really feeling the lonely's. ~sigh~ Oh well.

Hey this is my website, and if I wanna be a melodramatic, feeling sorry for my lazy ass; I can be! this is my hole.

Now back to my sappy "whoa's me!"

Pics tonight of me at home. Being sad.

written on October 23, 2002
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Ok so I usually never "borrow" any $ from anybody. And I never ask for anything for free, so I am proposing an offer.

Here goes:

Tonight is LIARS at the Grog Shop. I am dying to see them. I am piss broke. I want to desperately go so I can take more pics for the Journal, but I have no money. I think it is $10.

Does anyone out there have one or all of the following:

1. $10
2. Ability to place me on the guest list
3. A free ticket

If you do, and you want to help a brother out, then get to my email inbox, and lets hook up. I desperately want to go. I will print a pic of the show for you as a gift...

Please.

written on October 23, 2002
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If you woul dlike to receive an email when I post something to this site please comment on this post,and leave your email. I will add it to a list for email confirmation. I will not submit you to spam, or anything... I promise.

written on October 23, 2002
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I know that people have very creative abilities, but what the hell is McDonalds' Grimace?

This thing is scary and big. I am not sure what they were thinking when they were dreaming up this thing, but I am sure that he was supposed to be a large turd like thing that delivers milk shakes to all the little obese children. I mean seriously. This thing looked like something that we would never want our kids to grow up to be. I have seen mothers and fathers going into McDonald's looking like a Grimace. That large shaped ass that sloshes around while making a decision as to what piece of dead cattle to shove in their traps for a quick junk food fix. This stupid purple piece of crap would dance around on the T.V. In the day with Ronald. Tempting children to idolize obesity.

And what was Ronald thinking walking around with that red lipstick? Drag queen! Probably.

I caught a commercial where Grimace was hanging out with some comedian, and I laughed out loud so hard I had to puke because of that squishy blob of crap looked like he was going to swallow the comedian.

Is this an icon I want my child to spend the day hangin around at a amusement park? He looks like he was hiding some McNuggets under his arms, waiting for a second to snatch some honey mustard sauce to rub on his pits.

I simply don't know here. Can someone please tell me what the F@#% this pile of flab is?

written on October 22, 2002
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I was cruzing into work this morning and I noticed that there was a mini van driving as fast as possible right up behind me. I swirved to the other lane to let this surburban race care driver get past me.

IT WAS A MOM!

Now, I totally understand that people are very inpatient, and they are on schedules, but come on, a mom in a minivan?

Yesterday was ok. I was indeed lazy. But I got the pics updated. Thanks for visiting. Take care, more to come as always. See ya tomorrow...

written on October 21, 2002
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What am I supposed to do?

Spending the last few days wondering what life has in store for me in my thirties. It's funny. I do not feel thirty. Nor do I even see how this is a time in my life where I can actually become a MAN.

Last night I stayed home. Am I getting boring? I hope not.

Sat I went to a haunted house. Well actually a haunted forest. I had a great time. It made me laugh to see red neck kids dressed in their sunday best covered in stage blood. Hilarious.

Check the photo journal.

written on October 20, 2002
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From Jeff:

ATTENTION!!!!!!!!!!! Saturday October 19 is Jeff Lijana and Weasels 31st birthday. Festivities will take place all over the greater Cleveland area beginning at approximately 6:30p.m and continue until the cows come home or the fat lady sings whichever happens first. To participate in the evening of debauchery and wallow in the depths of depravity please call 216-577-8807. Only phone calls will be accepted. NO GROUP EMAILS!!!The celebrating parties will be moving about throughout the night. It is best to call to determine where one may be able to connect and join in the celebration of thirty one years of assholeness. All are encouraged to take part in the festivities. Gifts will appreciated. Cash works best, but if you need assistance, remember the three b's. They are BEER, BLUNTS, AND BLOWJOBS. Preferably the last but beer is fine as well. Looking forward to hearing from you. Have a nice day.

Mr. Jeff Lijana

P.S Why is Donny a cock-blocker?

written on October 18, 2002
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My good buddy T-Dogg (Ted Yeager) did this for me. I love it. Thanks T-ED!

Dinner last night was great. Putenesca with Linguini (sp). My step mom was great with dinner. She had great wine and made the dreamy buddy feel as if she was a close friend.

Met the parents. Yep. It finally happened. You know, it wasn't that bad. She was very polite, and I let her do what she does best. Communicate.

They bonded in like the first 15 min, talking about their own family experiences. It was weird, but in a good way. You see I never thought that my parents would ever get along with my significant other. You know, hate the parents cuz rebellion is good. But not in this case. My stepmother said "I could see her and I becoming good friends; as if we knew each other for years."

So we leave with the double stamp for the dreamy buddy.

Tonight might be cool. I am going to an Hindu temple. Festival of the Full moon. Food , dancing, and worship. Might be nice. Pics on Saturday, please come back;)

written on October 18, 2002
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All hallows eve. This is the witching hour. Looking for to. This year will be slightly different, but I am still looking forward to my day. I love things that are scary.

Last night I watched Evil Dead. Sam Raimi. I have never seen the first one. Hilarious. I was always a fan of ARMY OF DARKNESS. That move is much better. The dreamy buddy asked me to get Evil Dead instead. Oh well. I enjoyed it.

Sometimes I wish life was like a real horror movie. Getting splattered up with someone else's guts. Being pummeled to death by the living dead. Watching stupid 20 something's getting beaten by a tire iron during intercourse...

So what to be this Halloween. I want to be something scary. Something frightening. Here are my most recent options:

• Real Vampire, not friggin Dracula


• Mummy


• Dia de Le Muertos figurine


• Scott Bao

I would be interested in your comments. I am working on the photo journal. Keep checking. Also when is a good time for me to update? Do you want to read this during lunch about yesterday? Or do you want to read at night about the day? I need help. Also I am looking for a few authors to help me out here. I can accept a few for now, and you can help me collaborate on a online paper. Let me know...

written on October 17, 2002
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Last night after making an entire Indian meal for a whole restaurant {see the p-journal}. I was very exhausted. I went to the couch to where I usually play with my kitty, and make web pages. I passed out and fell asleep, then woke to turn off the laptop and pack things up. Turned off the lights, and turned on the last 2 CD's in the changer (see below for titles). Brushed my teeth, turned out the lights, and went to bed. {Underneath the 3 layers of sheets/bedding}

Now this is not out of the ordinary. I do this mostly every night. Well almost, unless I am drinking and chasing tail... ;)

I left the spare room window open. There are 3 windows in that room. It mirrors my master bedroom. I am on the 3rd floor. On either side of my space is a fire escape. One for each wing. There is one window of the 3 in each room that I have never opened. WHY you ask? Well they are European style windows -- no screens. In the spare room there is a huge spider that has lived on that widow pane for a year now. He/She has a body the size of a soda cap with huge legs. *ANYWAY* since I left the OTHER window open in that room as well as one of my windows in the front of my flat was open a crack to let out some of the food smells including all the Nag Champa I burned later on. Both these windows were left open all night. Just a crack.

OK, you say but where is this Poltergeist thing about? Weird. Really. Listen.

Last night I fell asleep around 12:45 am on my clock that runs 20 min ahead to help me up on time, so it was probably like 12:25 am. I began dreaming as I usually do. I vaguely remember that I was lurking around a building or something. It was then I felt the strongest force around my body. It was as if a grip stronger than any Kung-Fu grip had ever held a man. It was on me. Around my shoulders and back. I could not breathe easily nor could I have made a dash out of my bed. I was trapped. I could hear my cat meow so I knew that I was still sleeping and that the feeling I was having was definitely outside my dream. I knew this since I could control the dream. I was telling my outside body to escape the clutches of this being. It was if someone was holding me to smother me. This was not a 'lovin' - spoonful' type of clutch, but rather a malicious one.

I finally broke free and pulled this beast off of me. The cat was gone. I was awake. Weird I said. I dismissed as a disruption in my sleep and went back to my new reality.

I was there again. Lurking around the building, finding something. Again. This time it was so strong I could not budge. I was trapped. I remember telling my real body to resist and wake up to get away. {I have been sometime known to practice lucid dreaming thanks to Steven} I could not this time. I was now getting nervous.

No drugs. No alcohol. No nicotine. Just life.

"NAY YOU!" Oh skeptic! I understand that when we hit REM sleep Stage 2 or so, we become paralyzed. I get this all the time. I even have seen the TLC episodes of abducted by aliens shows are on and they talk about this phenomenon of sleep paralysis. BUT THIS WAS DIFFERENT!!! I was able to see me dreaming, and see me in reality. Something was on me and it was not a hottie making the moves. I was in bed alone. And it was not the cat either.

OK so I awoke once again. No one around, and my arms were sore. This was weird. I went back to bed. I noticed that I was listening to the last CD in my changer, and time had lapsed. Not to mention that the clock was now reading 1:20 am. REM sleep happens in 10 min or less. This was real. But I went back to bed.

It was now 7:15 am. Real time. The clock read 7:35 am actually, but on with this story. It was freezing in the flat. I felt a breeze. It is windy out now. I walked to the bathroom to begin my morning ritual, and noticed that in the spare room there was a draft. It was creepy draft. I noticed that the rice paper blinds in the main 2 windows were blowing due to the window being left open. I closed it. But the breeze did not go away. I turned to my right an noticed the small european window was open. I have never seen this window open. There it was. The lock was unlatched {eye hole and latch lock + a turn style latch to keep window closed}, and the window was blowing back and fourth. I opened the rice paper blinds to investigate. All 3 other flats across from me and the one below me also had been opened last night as well.

Now I was scared. I had been confronted with a force outside of this existence. A ghost, or a poltergeist. This was real, see proof. Below demonstrates the lock that can not just "blow open". I will let you be the judge.

Something is out there. I am going to find it. This is my new motivation. The haunting of the Edgewater/Cove flat. This building is almost 100 years old. It is possible. Trust me.

written on October 16, 2002
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Last night was ok. Ate dinner made some CHIVRA (Chiwada) which is an Indian snack made from rice flakes, coconut, almonds, cashews, spices. Drank a few beers. I have some strange movies to put up but I have to work on them first. Photo journal will be updated real soon. I promise.

Oh check this out. This was the number of hits on the site yesterday due to being linked up on K10k. Halarrious. Never thought that many hits perday. Thanks again guys.

Check back later on today.

written on October 15, 2002
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Just a quick one to give a shout out to my inspiration for web creation, K10K. Thanks guys. I have always wanted to be loved by the rest of the world. I was linked up today along with my other THREE M guys. Who knew?! Check them.

K10K

and do not forget mmodule and masaru!

written on October 14, 2002
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Well. The weekend was great considering I had a bad week. (work related). The show was great. The space was awesome. Ric, Greg, Jeremy + Headroom digital are doing a great job. I would like to see more venues considering that there needs to be more IDMers out there to enjoy what artistic abilities come to the canvas. I want to personally thank everyone that come and showed support. This meant a lot to me and the rest of THREE M.

I created the Photo journal. It is new and improved. OK wait. I heard some criticism that my new site is no different then the old site. Well, I can say one thing is that there is better organization, more interactivity, and a cleaner designed interface. What were you going to expect? This is a web journal for a person that has tons of goings on, and I have time to share my life with you. The antics, the beard stories, the pics everywhere. This is a day in the life. I suppose when I decide to display my art and other design work it will get better. I have been taking shots of action with the new camera and I hope to get this online, but the MOV's are big, and there might be a problem with disk space. Oh well. Future.

Class was great on Friday. This was my last class. I hope all my students enjoyed the time we spent together for my first class. Here are some parting shots. Thanks again kids ;).

Busy week. I have a big meeting with the boss tomorrow am. SO I am curious where this will go. I really messed up last week. So those out there looking for a designer, I may be sending out resumes. Ha.

More to come. I promise.

written on October 14, 2002
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OK, I have discovered the greatest marriage of culinary items known to mankind. I am calling it Achar Kutha (translated from HINDI - "Pickle DOG"). This is the most amazing taste I have discovered since logan berry punch. I ate 2 of these babies for lunch. I took a Morning Star Farms Veggie hot Dog and married it to Brownberry Butter White bread and Mother's brand Hot Indian Mixed Pickle (without garlic). All I have to say is man what a duo!

U need to try this one out. I can get u the name of the local store in your area that would carry this pickle. I am trying Patakt's hot mango pickle on it later tonight after class with my neighbor Jitu. We are getting together affter class with a bottle of cognac and vegan hot dogs. He will agree, I will post his comments. Look for it. ;)

written on October 11, 2002
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Oh man I hate computers. Ok so I don't but here is the deal. I have a PC and MACs at home. Everything looked great last night. But then I get to work on some "work" PCs and then I see a whole lot of ugly on DM.com. WOW. Everything is centered on IE 6x. GRRR. So I went home last night and fixed everything. Then I decided to DL IE 6x and NS 7, then I am right back to where I was. GRRR. Can anyone help me? Why does everything center ? ANO NO that is not the design here. Only centered stuff is supposed to be the images and some rules. BUT all the blog text and images are centered!!!! OUCH!

Anyway. I can not say anything other than I have been really busy making up for lost time on this site. I fixed the comments, added includes on the entire site. I have like 3 files to do every day for a clean experience for you. Hope u stop by daily. I am making efforts to make it worth your while.

Man it is cold as ice here in my flat. The heat is not on, and it is hard to even get naked in the evening to ... Hahah just joking, but I am having a hard time typing right now. My right hand is numb and cold.

I hope I see all of you Sat evening. Please be there and tell people. It will be from 9:00 - 10:00 and u can stick around to listen to others play too. I think this will be good. I am also working on getting MP3s made of the set. Can't wait.

One more thing. Please post your comments. I am really interested in hearing what is going on with you. U can even use this as a forum to set up things to do on the weekend. Tell your friends. Thanks and I am getting the Photo journal online this Sunday!!! Pics from the show surely!

Good night! PIECE.

written on October 11, 2002
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Welcome back, Mr. Merk says my midget butler. Ha. OK so this story about my travels was a bit left of center but could you blame Steven? He is a very creative person, and I needed a nice segue to make you want to hit this site more.

What have I been up to? Well, let me say that I have spent some time in Montreal last weekend. The flight was great, and I flew on this "Express Jet". What a blast! Closest thing to a leir jet. Had my own row and all. COOL! Spent the weekend with my parents gambling and drinking. No really I had a meeting with a printer there. Cool stuff. They can make posters of any art I give them and make it 3D or move.

What you say that you have nothing to do on Saturday? Well THREE M is playing at the $2 Rare Book store on 69th and euclid. {Those of you that are not familiar with THREE M go here} hope to see u there!

I am going to get back to taking more pics, and uploading them with more of my art on the site, but for now I have a big deadline at work to get ready for, so sorry for the big disappointment. I spent most of this time making this site more useable so I can archive important things. If anyone out there that is good with PHP, I can use the help with a database thing so I can archive my diet and other items. HINT HINT.

Love you all for waiting and being patient on this new launch. It came at a bad time with my semester ending and other social related things. See you here same time tomorrow. CIAO!

written on October 09, 2002
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